Log 006. My body is starting to form a rebellion to the authority of my mind.

I used to sleep long hours. I know it’s really bad. That was the habit from my youth. Sleep too late, and then overslept. Over, and over, and over again. At some point my circadian circle (the subconscious rhythmic of wake and sleep) was reversed. This is horrible. Well, it is good for developer to work at night actually, but It doesn’t good to run a business like that. Almost every customer activities are at the daytime.

This make my financial condition start to becoming worse overtime. That’s why this month, me and Sarah have to close around 1600$ at the end of the month to fix it. That make us have to make 80$ a day. In Germany, it’s easy to cover this much money just by taking a part-time job. But here, This is kind of painful handwork for a starting business.

The Decision is Made

This is one of the reason why I want to write down a log to control over what I’ve done for the day. It makes me aware where most of the time I put into. I’m not planning to overslept again, not planning to being lazy at the day, watching tons of movies or playing games. I’m not gonna overeat again (I’m also controlling my calories intake every day). That’s it. My body have to submit to my mind, because without my mind, I’m just a lump of bones, fleshes, and blood. I’m not gonna waste this opportunity of being a human (Yes, statistically we’re not in any odd to being born at the first place). I want to make a difference around my life.

And that’s not easy job to do. The first thing I beat is not competitor, not corrupt government, not negative people around my vicinity, but my self. My fuckin’ self which is already hard-coded for years to being lazy, playing games in front of computer, ask for money, and oversleep.

This day, I’m starting too feeling a bit sick because I’ve been sleep for only 6 hours, 12-16 hours working on my stuff, without a second thought. But that’s okay, because I know that pain is weakness that coming out of my body. The more you go through pain, the stronger you will be. I believe in that. I know my goal of being financially independent with my own terms has its price, and I have to pay for that.

Keep up the good work, buddy. It is gonna paid. I promise.